Notes from Doc – June 2009

So far in this year’s series, we have seen that Courageous Communication is communication that…

·         Pays attention to THEM (Jan)

·         Experiences what-is in both you & them (Feb)

·         Comes from the heart, not the head (March)

·         Acknowledges fear and delivers anyway (April)

·         Is transparent, i.e. observes thoughts, and stays true to self without knowing how/where the conversation is going to go (May)

This month let’s look deeper into the not-knowing of Courageous Communication.

We all have automatic ways in which we avoid the seeming danger of really connecting, rather than just protecting the status quo in our communications.  Some of us deflect or circumvent the rich, precious moment of complete disclosure and not-knowing what’s going to transpire.  Some of us charge right through by continuing to talk, prevailing or answering our own questions.  Some of us disarm the tension by softening or recanting.

Instead of indulging it, observe your automatic control pattern kicking in, and stay present.  Hold that pattern in abeyance while allowing space in the conversation.  Notice the uncertainty as to alternative ways to proceed, and yet be ready and willing to move with your interlocutor(s).  Then, rather than just putting more noise in the world, what happens is that something unprecedented comes into existence through your communication, a new reality is fashioned.

Miles Davis, when asked the secret to his success as jazz musician, is supposed to have said something like, ‘First you have to practice.  You have to play the scales, the chord progressions, and the rhythmic patterns over and over again.  Then you get out on the stage and just wail.’

Unless we’re willing to improvise, our communication just puts more static in the space.  Once we give room in our awareness for the strategies we’ve unconsciously picked up to avoid really connecting with others, and simply stay awake in dialogue, our communication is novel.

What courageous communicative improvization are you committed to following through with? 
blog me or call 303 772 0351.  --Doc